yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
