May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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