Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
