Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
