U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
