Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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