Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
