he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize