Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
