Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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