I wanna passion pit in your ass
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
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Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
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I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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