I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize