talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just jacked off to nostalgia.