Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Farmville is her only friend.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
