my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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