weddingsv make me drug and hornr
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You are a genius and a whore.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
