I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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