walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize