I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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