You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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