So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
