Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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