So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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