I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
