so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
