oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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