Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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