my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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