At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
