girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
