did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
this hospital has no fireball
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
