When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
