i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
