I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
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He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”