Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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