I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
