the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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