Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
