It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
