'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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