I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
