I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
