i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
