Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
