My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
this will be a night to untag.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
