She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
nutella sex= disaster
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
