What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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