He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
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This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
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All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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