i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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