i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
