Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
