Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
