He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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