everyone is single if you try hard enough
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
