isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
