Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
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If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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