i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
