i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
